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Chair Simulator: It Actually Wasn’t That Bad

  • Post category:Indie
  • Reading time:6 mins read

I must have a sick sense of humor if I decided to go on this journey so eagerly in the gaming universe. I have a sense of humor, sorry for the orneriness. C’mon though: Chair Simulator!? I love it. What’s weird is it actually wasn’t that bad. And it’s free. If you literally have nothing else to do, just try it. Obviously, the creator was tongue in cheek when they created this, but I was surprised by the attention to gameplay that was put into this for being what I guess is an ironic game, or maybe it’s a personal project, I don’t actually know. Well, that, or it was created by aliens, which is fine too. Alright, let’s unpack this, not too much though, since surely I’m doing the Lord’s work today here. Launch…

Chair Simulator is a Game About Sitting… Obviously

Launch. Next, select a character, of which there are around a dozen with sardonic nicknames. I chose “Cheetles,” which apparently has something to do with Rick and Morty, but I don’t know what–maybe you do? It’s a mutant pink chunk person that says “chair” when sitting down.

You’re in a room with a chair, a plant, a VCR + a TV, and some other thing I can’t remember. When you sit in the chair you gain sit points about once every two seconds. The longer you sit, the more uncomfortable you get, so you’ll need to stand up occasionally since apparently, you’ll “die” if you don’t according to the warning label that proceeds an orange comfort bar. You can sit back down after you feel comfy again.

MSCHF

The next thing you can do is run out the front door and teleport into an IKEA parody called MSCH that sells… CHAIRS. And ONLY Chairs! You didn’t think those sit points were for nothing, did you? There’s quite a variety, and I think the more you spend the higher the comfort? I honestly don’t know and I’m not taking 20 minutes to find out. Maybe you can though.

I played enough to buy a red modular bloc chair that semi-confirmed my theory.

And… that’s pretty much it. It’s a game about sitting in a chair. A simulator as it were.

Chair Simulator: Yeah, I Sit

I’ve been doing quite a bit of sitting lately. I find it more relaxing than usual. Somehow I’ve even lost a few pounds in the process?? Sitting and walking are similar for me actually. For me at least. A Zen student who is focused can stay totally engaged in an empty room. I prefer a cup of coffee before I try this, but it’s a good skill to have. By no means do I claim to be un-materialistic, but I do occasionally like to unplug and just chill.

I felt the need to add some personal anecdote to this, but I think I’m finished.

Fold ‘Em Up

Okay, that’s today’s report on Chair Simulator. It did make me smile. I’ll even include the link below.

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