Zen of Zombie

The Zen of Zombie – An Interesting & Funny Guide

Books Halloween

The Zen of Zombie is a satirical self-help book by Scott Kenemore published in 2007 about tips for better living in the metaphor of the zombie. Kenemore uses this raucous book to examine parallels between Zen psychology with the paradigm of zombie existentialism. Not just social or corporate zombies, although those are covered, but actual re-animated brain-eating zombies. Learn about 24 effective habits of zombies from persistence to free will to deal with government nerve agents. While the concept is totally hilarious, you might actually find some nuggets of wisdom in real life, if we are still doing that.

I am not a fast reader but I can get immersed in a topic. Habits 1-3 are about core zombie strengths. In fact, one is all about that. Be adaptable. Barbwire fence? Push it down with a horde of zombies. Underwater? Keep walking the ocean floor until you are ragged and reach land.

Next, Acknowledge Your Strengths. Zombies can just walk all over endless fields and forests. Ew, creepy. But you can’t call it useless. Maybe you’re like me and you can just write and write and write non-stop about a single one-word topic because that’s just the way you are. I won’t subject you to that though… in a temporary sense at least.

Habit 3: Free Will. You might wonder, do zombies have free will? Even this is a factor of being a zombie, or at least according to this book.

JOURNAL PART 2: Helpful Zombie Habits 4-24

I’ve made it through around half of this book. It’s not a tome and it has pictures, but it’s broken up into satisfactory section lengths of a few pages. Instead of piling on self-reflection into each section as I did in the previous part of this review, I’m just going to tell you what the habit is and one sentence or few if manageable about each habit.

4. Succeed as a Corporate Zombie. If you’re a hard worker but never question the repetitive meaningless tasks of your corporate servitude, then this zombie habit might lead you to the top.

5. Slow Down! (You Move Too Fast). Woah nelly. Ever heard the phrase make sure to stop and smell the roses? Same here, I don’t recommend smelling other zombies though.

6. Be Your Own Boss. You pretty much have nobody to answer to as a zombie. Not even nature. If working as an indentured zombie ain’t your speed, try freelancing, there’s plenty of brains in the open.

7. Whereof One Cannot Speak… Zombies can’t speak. Maybe they shouldn’t either. As Abraham Lincoln said, it is better to not speak and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

8. Nobody Likes a Player-Hater. There are several contenders for zombies like vampire, werewolves, mummies, etc. None have the tenacity of unstoppableness quite like zombies though

9. Strength in Numbers. Two brains are better than one. Obviously.

10. Jerks Get What They Deserve. Life is an inevitable circus. None are excluded.

11. Winners Don’t Use Drugs. Being a zombie is pretty much the most mind-altering experience possible.

12. Bros Before… Zombies never eat other zombies, that is the zombie code.

13. Get the Government Off Our Back. Zombies don’t plan their skulking across the earth based on zoning laws or private property. Zombies are a seceded order.

14. Rugged Individualism. Git-‘r-done.

15. Nobody Likes A Tourist. We’re not messing around here.

16. We’re Zombies And That’s Not Going To Change. Get used to it. Don’t let yourself be pigeonholed. Zombies don’t, even though they are unabashedly members of the living dead.

17. Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number. 18-50-103? Age is a mortal limitation.

18. Live in the Real World. Fantasy football isn’t going to cut it when it’s time to put food, brains, on the table.

19. No Profiling (Racial or Otherwise). It does not matter what color your skin is, you can feast on the living just as well as the next zombie.

20. W.W.Z.D.? Pizza here, this section is a bit offensive, but pretty spot on in the zombie qualities of Big J. Jebus.

21. “Fair and Balanced.” I’d say eat all the FN brains, but there don’t appear to be any there.

22. Remember It’s Just Stuff. Some more pretty good advice from Jebus on the merits of anti-materialism. You don’t need that decked out flat when you never have to sleep or go indoors or anything besides eat brains.

23. “Live” Free or Die. Zombies have this personal freedom thing pretty much settled. There’s no need to answer to anyone.

24. Digging a Grave? You’ve Got It Made! Do what makes you happy! And consider how zombies accomplish it!

That’s it For Now

Well, that was fun. This book is so obscure that I wonder if anybody will read this, but I’ve performed an exorcism on this article so that might actually be. I mostly review books, but games too, have a look around most of MrDavePizza.com, you’re sure to find something.